Estrogen is the all consuming powerhouse of the female
brain. It not only drives a lot of
female typical behaviour, but literally shapes the structure of the female
brain itself. It’s not just the
presence
of estrogen, but the absence of testosterone that shapes girls brains. In fact, in gestation at about 8 weeks the
testosterone in a male foetus literally kills off many of the brain circuits
associated with empathy and communication.
As a result girls brains develop unhindered by testosterone and at birth
are more interested in communication and faces than boys. Boys’ brains, by contrast, have been primed
for action, movement and exploratory behaviour.
From the ages of about 6 months to 2 years old, girls ovaries pump estrogen into the body which acts to build the brain structures associated with verbal and emotional circuits. Girls are therefore more advanced than boys in sharing and playing cooperatively. The circuits for nurturing and mothering that are so important later in her life are also being laid down. The estrogen makes girls extremely sensitive to their social world. This is something little boys’ lack, and perhaps never catch up with.
At puberty, after the childhood pause of estrogen, girl’s ovaries again kick into action. As a result girls’ brains mature earlier than boys, but also make them more sensitive than boys. Building on the changes in the girl brain, estrogen forces through a further growth in the stress, verbal and emotion circuits of her brain. As a result girls start to talk. A lot! They talk to connect, relieve stress and, in evolutionary terms, lay down the relationships that will support her efforts at child rearing.
According to the female psychiatrist, and author of The Female Brain, Louann Brizendine, girls’ brains through estrogen and the absence of testosterone, reading emotion equals reading reality for girls. Given that, to a large extent, testosterone kills off these circuits, men will never be able to understand the depths of complexity that is the female emotional brain. It also helps to explain why women can remember emotionally charged events even though men often forget, and why women tend to know how someone is feeling and men don’t spot an emotion unless someone cries or threatens him.
The developments in brain sciences that underpin these findings are radical in the extreme. It is no longer possible to hold the view that men and women are essentially the same just socialised differently. Boys and girls and born different, and will never again converge in ability in emotional communication. This is both a challenge to the feminist hegemony, but also an invitation to men and women to be a lot more understanding of each other’s needs and abilities. So when a woman says you’re unfeeling, she has spotted a truth. Compared to her you are. But it would also be unreasonable of her to expect you to be otherwise.
Dr Phil Tyson is a Men's Psychotherapist based in Manchester in the UK. He offers:
- Group therapy weekends for men in London and Manchester
- Beginners meditation weekend retreats for men in London and Manchester
- Counselling for men in Manchester
- Psychotherapy for men in Manchester
- Cognitive behavioural therapy for men in Manchester
- Telephone and online counselling for men wherever you live
- Mediation for conflict resolution at work in London
- Mediation for conflict resolution at work in Manchester and the North West
- Supervision and consulative support for therapists in Manchester
